i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
