he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
soo... how was my night?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
