Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
