She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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