This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
