just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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