being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
