Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
