turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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