she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
