guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
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