Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
