I'm passing your future prison.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
