what day is it and did you see me today?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
