Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
