oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
