Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
