I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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