I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
