Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
