Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
