Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
