No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
