There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
