Got a toothbrush?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
