Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
