i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
