Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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