CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
