The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
