Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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