I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
