false alarm. still invincible.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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