we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
