sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
