my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
