would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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