Kiss
Puke
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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