Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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