Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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