So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
