Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
