so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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