I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
