did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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