so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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