Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
