If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
