i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
