my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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