If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
