Already got asked if we're dating
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
